In theory and in practice, nobody is perfect. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and "blind spots" in our repertoire of virtues, and that is not a problem. What is a problem, on the other hand, is what happens when our perception of these defects generates insecurities that keep us fearful and without wanting to leave a very restricted comfort zone.
Unfortunately, this insecurity with different facets is something that we unconsciously internalize if we get used to participating in certain ways of interacting with others and with the environment around us.
These cracks in our self-esteem do not appear just because, but depend on the experiences we go through and that we generate. All is not lost: as insecurities are learned, we can also unlearn them until they are insignificant and small enough so that they do not affect us too much. They will never go away completely since our emotional memory can hardly be reset, but after all, mental health has to do with how functional we are, not with whether we are perfect.
Habits that intensify our insecurities
Next, we will see several of the most frequent habits that fuel our insecurities and cause them to continue to perpetuate over time.
1. Maintain dependency relationships
These types of human relationships are usually significantly harmful during the time in which they take place, and are not only limited to the sphere of the couple and romantic love.
Normally, these links have a person who, among his strategies to keep the other in a state of dependence, uses different formulas to feed the latter's insecurities. For example, ridiculing their achievements, making fun of their proposals, etc.
2. Exposing yourself to highly stressful contexts
Frequently experiencing anxiety has very varied negative repercussions on our physical and mental health. Among these unwanted consequences is that of seeing on a regular basis how our efforts and our ability to focus on tasks are not enough for us to achieve the desired objectives so that we fail many times and make foolish mistakes.
Of course, part of these insecurities are based on the objective fact that we show worse performance in many tasks, but that is not a consequence of who we are, but of the circumstances, we are going through. Therefore, when we stop submitting to that amount of stress, it is easier for our perception of ourselves to adjust more to reality and not lead us to pessimism.
3. Comparing yourself to idealized people
This is one of the habits most related to insecurity. And it is that since we live in the information society, it is increasingly common to compare ourselves with people who basically do not exist, since or they are very "filtered" representations of real users of a social network that show only the good and do not show what they perceive as their own defects, or are representations of fictitious people created from the work of marketing departments working from the real material contributed by celebrities (singers, models, etc.).
Therefore, it is very necessary to be aware of the existence of these filters to avoid our self-esteem and our self-concept does not depend on the comparisons with these mirages.
4. Avoid trouble
Some people, at the slightest sign that a stressful event may occur, do their best to avoid exposing themselves to it, even if facing that situation is clearly positive or necessary given certain circumstances, even if it is to tempt luck and give us the opportunity to that our situation improves. In these cases, those who have already become accustomed to this dynamic that generates insecurities, rationalize their fear of leaving their comfort zone in order to justify their passivity: reject ”, for example.
Assuming this behavior as normal does nothing more than promote the tendency to maintain a low profile, oblivious to any type of ambition, and very exposed to fears based on the fear of not being good enough to achieve what we would like to achieve.
5. Base self-esteem on criticism
There are those who only find a way to assert themselves by criticizing others or making fun of them. This not only hurts others; In addition, it makes self-esteem dependent on these constant attacks. On the other hand, if the direction of these criticisms is ever reversed, you are much more vulnerable, because that self-image based on moral superiority fades.
Build a healthy self-esteem
As we have seen, self-esteem and our way of valuing ourselves depend mainly on how we interact with our environment. According to Adelaide Naturopath Being clear about this is essential so as not to assume that insecurities arise from oneself in isolation as if they were part of their essence.
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